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What kind of baby shower gift do you get for a woman you only
know from the F.B.I.?
This
is the question I ask myself as I walk down the aisles of a fluorescent
baby store, some place I never really knew existed until I turned
34 and suddenly every woman I knew was having kids.
Every
woman, except of course me.
I
swallow my sour grapes and trudge forward, casually picking at
pink jumpsuits and blue-striped overall sets. Pooh Bear on some
things, Mickey Mouse on others, and the "Carter's" tag
on a special display near the end of the aisle.
I
don't even know Scully all that well. I've worked for Walter Skinner
for about nine years, and during that time, Agents Scully and
Mulder have been frequent visitors. Generally speaking, though,
assistants to Assistant Directors don't interact with Special
Agents, except to say "He'll see you now" or "The
assistant director is in a meeting; you should come back in an
hour".
So,
I was a little shocked that I'd gotten an invitation. I didn't
recognize the handwriting on the envelope (and I'd know Scully's
anywhere, after all these years of X-file reports coming across
my desk), but I've been to enough showers to know that the mom-to-be
doesn't do
the inviting. When my friend Trudy had her first son, she was
furious to see a few of her husband's ex-girlfriends there; apparently,
her sister-in-law was trying to make some kind of point.
I
give up on clothes (babies grow so fast anyway) and move over
to toys. I finally settle on a stuffed elephant, which reminds
me of one of the more bizarre cases Scully and Mulder worked on.
Something about invisible zoo animals. I remember Walter shaking
his head when that case report came through, and muttering something
about wishing for alien abductions or liver-eating mutants.
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"Hello!
Glad you could make it....I'm Maggie Scully, Dana's mother. I'll
take that, we're setting the gifts to the side till after a few
games. What's your name, I'm so terrible with names and I don't
know many of Dana's friends...."
"Kim.
Kim Cook." I shake Maggie's hand, thinking immediately of
the differences in the two women. Scully had a reputation for
being a ballbuster, but she was generally subdued and sometimes
pensive.
"Ok,
I know who you are now. Dana didn't give me much to go on; you
were the only person from work that she wanted to invite."
Needless
to say, I look at Maggie's back as she led the way into the living
room with something more than surprise.
In
the living room is a bunch of giggling women, all swapping stories
of childbirth and early growing pains. Scully isn't hard to find;
she has this smile on her face that doesn't quite reach her eyes,
and like many mothers-to-be she looks uncomfortably warm. Maggie
seems to notice this at the same time I do, and makes a beeline
for the thermostat.
There
aren't many places left to sit, so I take a chair somewhat out
of the action and say hello to Scully. She looks at me for the
first time, and when she smiles again, it reaches her eyes.
"Kim,
glad to see you could make it!" I'm not deaf, I can hear
the unmistakable enthusiasm in her voice.
"Wouldn't
have missed it, Scully," I say, and even I notice the slight
surprise in my tone. She smiles a little wider.
"Want
something to drink? I'm dying of thirst."
"Sure,
I can get..."
"I'll
go with you. Show you to the kitchen."
Noticing
the nearly nine month pregnant hostess struggle to her feet stops
the women from giggling for a few moments. Offers to help her
fly from all sides, and Scully shakes them all off. As we get
a little distance away from the group, she whispers to me "You'd
think I was an invalid instead of pregnant."
I
laugh. Scully and I have never been close, never even had contact
outside the Hoover Building, and here she is treating me like
a confidante.
A
bowl of punch (I shudder inwardly remembering my last glass of
punch...some sherbet and ginger-ale concoction gone awry) sits
on the dining room table, but Scully bypasses it and goes into
the kitchen. "I don't know about you, but I was never one
for punch made with anything other than champagne. So how about
a soda?"
Tempting.....
"Sure.
Diet Coke?"
She
grins. "Of course."
We
pop the tops on two cans of caffeine-free Diet Coke and stand
there for a moment in silence. Laughter drifts again from the
living room, followed by Maggie's voice declaring that it would
indeed be easier if we all knew the sex of the baby. An annoyed
look crossed
Scully's face.
So
I start talking.
"So,
who are all these people? You're the only one I know."
"Ironically,
I don't know them all either. My mother's friends, bridge players
and old neighborhood chums. Besides her, I really only know my
sister-in-law, Tara. And you." She takes a swig of her soda.
"To
be honest, this is the last place I expected to be invited to."
I shock even myself with that line.
"Well,
Kim, I guess I should tell you why I invited you."
Great,
I think. Here's the part where I get a sob story about Scully
isolating herself for years. I kind of kick myself for thinking
it, knowing it isn't fair to either of us.
And
then, she really gives me a shock.
"I
wanted to thank you."
"Thank
me?"
"Yes."
She stops to take another sip of Diet Coke, frowning a little
at the sound of some guest inquiring as to the baby's paternity.
"It hasn't been an easy year on me. When Mulder went missing....I
would have shut down, closed up, if it hadn't been for Skinner."
My
stomach flips as I realize what she's saying. Apparently, there
are no secrets in the F.B.I.
"I
noticed how much you've covered for him, worked late or on weekends,
fended off Deputy Director Kersh, all those things. I noticed
how you held his hand before his eulogy at Mulder's, erm, Mulder's
funeral. I leaned on him more than should have been allowed, but
he leaned on you and that made it easier on all of us."
I
set my soda down for a minute, and look Scully in the eyes. She
didn't really hint that she knew about my relationship with Walter.
But the way she meets my searching glance tells
me all I need to know. Scully had the same kind of relationship
with Mulder; unspoken, even when the whole world might be able
to guess. Built more on the need for each other at first, which
grows at some point into a natural want. She knows what its like,
I think, to wait up for him, hold him at night, and stave off
nightmares with kisses and passionate sex. She knows what it is
to take off your shoes at his apartment and find yourself buttoning
your shirt eight hours later.
"We
have to be there for them all the time, don't we." Its
not a question, really. And she nods.
"They're
always there for us, though, too. So its worth it." Her eyes
drop as she rubs her stomach almost absentmindedly. "I wanted
to thank you, Kim, because without you, I wouldn't have made it
either. And besides," she raised her eyes as she gave me
a mischievous smile, "my little boy could always use a stuffed
elephant."
My
eyes widen, and then my hastily wrapped package appears in my
peripheral vision. Hey, I never claimed to be Martha Stewart.
I
laugh. "Shall we get back to the action, then?"
Scully
smiles. "Why not?"
A
little later, when her mother badgers her yet again to know the
sex of the Impending Stranger, Scully winks at me.
After
all, I'm there as her friend.
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