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She
thought it was the heat of the moment.
She
had no idea it was the breaking point.
Not
until later, when C.J. had that look on her face.
Finally.
-
He
had his arms around Annabeth and his heart was leaping, and it
was probably wasn't because he had kissed Donna and Donna had
kissed him back.
No
way.
Vinick
had a cold and they were having a good day, a fantastic day.
It
was hard not to think of these things in political terms. Your
opponent has a cold in October, just before the election. Your
opponent has a cold, and he was the one pushing for nuclear energy
that had ended in a sweaty, national panic.
His
popularity was dropping, and your guy was gaining on him. Had
gained on him.
Was
tied with him.
Hard
not to feel a bit of jubilation.
Hard
not to celebrate with hugging.
And
kissing.
-
She
liked keys.
Actual
jagged, metal keys. Those little plastic cards were not romantic
in the least.
So
pushing an actual key in his direction, an action rife with cheesy
symbolism
that she did, in fact, mean literally, was romantic.
Meant
to be, anyway.
She
was trying not to blush. To be a grown-up about it.
Come
to my room, Josh. Follow me.
Kiss
me again.
She
watched him not do battle for the key. Watched him just sort of
sit there.
Staring
back at her. His expression hard to read, even for Donna, who
knew his
every glare and tender apologetic gaze.
If
you think that I don't miss you every day....
Don't
miss me anymore. You don't have to.
Follow
me, Josh.
He
stayed planted in his chair, and Donna went upstairs.
-
Years
ago, in the beginning, he had almost kissed her.
The
night of the Illinois primary.
"We
need some Doobie Brothers!"
And
Donna was trying to get his attention and when he finally came
down to
earth, looked in her face, he almost leaned in.
Then
he was on a plane and his dad was dead, and he'd forgotten Donna's
existence for awhile.
Theirs
had been no easy course.
He
always wanted to kiss her. At first it was exciting. Then it was
routine. He was shot. Donna was there every day, and nothing.
Then he was with Amy. And Donna was hurt, a hospital bed in Germany.
All the times in between. The times that were every day, the frantic
pace of White House life swirling between
them.
He
almost kissed her so many times and then she was gone. Out of
his life.
Working
on someone else's campaign.
Then
suddenly there with him every day again.
No
wonder he'd kissed her. All that drama, all that confusion. It
was enough
to break any strong-willed man.
He'd
seen the key on the table and he was frozen, a sixteen-year-old
kid presented with a bra strap and knowing absolutely nothing
about how to unhook it.
How's
that for unromantic, gomer-like thinking?
-
She
really had not thought this through.
She'd
let C.J.'s encouragement get to her.
The
Josh thing is finally happening.
No,
the Josh thing is non-existant.
It
was bound to happen sometime.
Donna
sat on the edge of the bed and didn't do anything that might be
considered
comforting herself. No drinks, no drawing a bubble bath, no hugging
her pillow.
It
was bound to happen sometime.
-
Bram
was still talking and Josh had longed since stopped pretending
to listen.
Bram
got the picture, or decided to call it a night, or something.
Either
way, Josh was by himself in the lobby.
No
use moving, he didn't want to go upstairs to his room and he sure
as hell
couldn't find Donna.
Why
not?
The
internal, eternal argument.
Go
to her room. No. Kiss her. No.
Make
love to her.
Absolutely
not.
Why
not?
She's
your assistant and....
Josh
ran his hand through his hair. It stood on end. He smoothed it
down.
She
is not your assistant.
But....
The
argument was pointless now. Part of him felt gleeful, giddy.
Part
of him was rooted in this chair.
She'll
slam the door.
Or
she won't open it.
She
needs space.
We
both do.
He
was in the elevator by this point.
-
Knocking.
What
campaign disaster awaited them now?
Donna
thought it automatically but she knew it was Josh. She probably
knew
the moment his feet had hit the floor. They were like that. Instinctual,
drawn to one another.
She
let him sweat a little. He knocked again, whispered her name.
"I
need to talk to you."
She
went to the door and pressed her ear to it.
-
Josh
jumped. She was at the door, he'd heard her footsteps.
"Let
me in?"
Soft,
trying not to scare her.
Scared
shitless himself.
"Not
yet." She was quiet, too, a little breathless.
"Okay."
He leaned his head against the door. "I should have come
up here sooner."
"Josh,
you didn't have to come up here now to tell me that."
"Yes,
I did. I wasn't....I didn't hesitate, not once I figured it out."
She
opened the door and he stumbled a little, had to catch himself
on the door
frame, like he was drunk, such a delicate system.
"You
didn't hesitate."
He
nodded.
"In
all the time we knew each other, this...thing...wasn't about hesitation?"
He
looked at the floor. Her feet still clad in shoes, her ankles
round and perfect and since when did he think about things like
ankles?
"Hesitation.
Fear. Practicality."
"Those
are all the same things."
He
kissed her, and she pulled him inside.
-
Years
of practicality proven impractical. Implausible.
How,
exactly, had this taken so long?
She
kissed him like she had always done it, as if she'd never kissed
anyone else.
It
wasn't perfect. Their lips didn't meet exactly, and she giggled
when he tried to tongue-wrestle with her. Still trying to prove
you're stronger than me?
He
looked at her, puzzled by her laughter, and she kissed him harder.
His
hands were on her neck, her face.
Her
hands met his. She couldn't touch him, not yet, not while he was
distracting her with kissing.
It
happened like this: on the bed, her under him, his pants around
his ankles, her shoes falling off during the best part and dropping
like anvils on the floor, startling him and getting her to laugh
again.
He
thrust into her, hard, right then while she wasn't paying attention,
cutting off her giggles by making her gasp his name.
Like
a prayer, or an admonishment. She didn't usually come so quickly,
and she was surprised.
He
was always taking her by surprise.
When
he said her name, it was a caress, an apology, a plea. I love
you, I'm sorry I waited, please don't leave me.
And
he came and it was messy, he collapsed on her and her hands came
up to his hair and got tangled there.
-
She
was flushed the next day, and the day after that he was a good
kisser in secret corners.
No
one was fooled.
Least
of all Congressman Santos and his wife, who had stumbled upon
them while looking for their own secret corner.
Helen
and Donna looked at each other knowingly and smiled.
It
takes patience when your man is a politician.
They
weigh every move, they calculate every strike so that they never
miss.
You
are their pinnacle and they know they might fall, so they wait
and when they finally try, you have to give them a little extra
push.
A
key, sliding across a table.
Helen
had waited for him in his bed. She wasn't a mistress of subtlety.
The
women knew.
The
men just blushed and stammered and the day was a little less comfortable
for them.
Donna
liked it on Josh. He wasn't off his game, but he would stop and
he would smile. He would hug people in celebration.
He
would kiss her. Later. When they were alone.
Nothing
had really changed.
He
just stopped hestitating.

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